


Team Angel v. Team Spike- Civil War

by Aragorn_II_Elessar



Series: Fluffyverse [1]
Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anya Jenkins lives, Cordelia Chase Lives, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Post-Episode: s05e22 Not Fade Away, Post-Episode: s07e22 Chosen, Post-Season/Series 05, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Post-Season/Series 07, Post-Season/Series 07 Finale, Post-Season/Series Finale, Romance, Tara Maclay Lives, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce Lives, Winifred "Fred" Burkle lives, for fun, most of them anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29240031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar
Summary: The Scooby Gang and Team Angel get together for some fun but Angel and Spike are at each other's throats again, and start dragging the others to pick sides in their 'war'. Pure crack fic.
Relationships: Angel (BtVS)/Cordelia Chase, Spike/Buffy Summers, Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg, Winifred "Fred" Burkle/Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Xander Harris/Anya Jenkins
Series: Fluffyverse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189988
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Team Angel v. Team Spike- Civil War

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Buffyverse or anything else you may recognize
> 
> So this is a little crack idea Brainstorm Sorcerer provided me for fun, so thank you very much to him for the help here.
> 
> Also, this is an AU where most of the dead characters are still alive, because FUCK JOSS AND MARTI!
> 
> Hope all enjoy.

Sometime after having taken care of the mess in LA, Team Angel had decided to meet up with the Scooby Gang, and the Scooby Gang had agreed, so the two teams were having fun, chatting and sharing stories in the Slayer Organization's base in London.

But after a certain point, everyone regretted the idea when Angel and Spike ended up on each other's throats once more.

"It's bollocks, Angel! It's your brand of bollocks, from first to last", Spike snapped.

"You can't ever see the picture. You can't see any picture!" Angel said with a forced calm tone.

"I am talking about something primal, right? Savagery. Brutal animal instinct—" Spike started.

"That wins out every time with you. The human race has evolved, Spike!" Angel said, as if he was lecturing a child and wiping his face in frustration.

"Into a bunch of namby-pampy, self-analyzing wankers, who could never hope—" Spike started.

"There's a thing called 'teamwork.' Not to mention the superstitious terror of your 'aggressions'…"

"You want it to be—"

"It's not about what I want!" Angel said as all groaned, sharing weird and annoyed looks.

"Gee guys, having similar names and all that, I thought you'd get along", Xander said, as the two shot him looks.

"From what angle do 'Spike' and 'Angel' sound alike to you, you bloody idiot!" Spike snapped at Xander. "One is cool and savage, the other is broody-"

"One keeps whining about how pathetic his life is", Angel started.

"I didn't mean 'Angel' and 'Spike', I meant 'William' and 'Liam'", Xander said, and now there was an awkward silence between Angel and Spike.

Then Spike said. "My name's longer, your name's derived from it, so I'm better!"

"My name is more unique, you little idiot!" Angel screamed at him as the others sighed.

"I think you made the situation even worse", Wesley said to Xander, who just shook his head.

"I killed 2 Slayers when I was evil, you can't top that!" Spike said.

"Yeah, but I taunted you to do it, and I turned Drusilla, she turned you, I am superior!" Angel said.

"No you're not, I surpassed you!" Spike said.

"Guys, back me up here", Angel said, looking at Cordelia, Wesley, Gunn, Fred and Lorne.

"Well Angel face, while you don't sing good, I know you better so I like you be-" Lorne started but Spike cut him off.

"You don't sing good, huh? Well I do! So I am better!" Spike said as he turned to Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles, Anya, Tara, Dawn and Faith. "I know you all have heard me sing, so you should agree."

"I haven't", Faith said with a shrug.

"I stay silent about what ails me, he keeps moaning and whining!" Angel said to them all as Spike gave him a look, and Angel turned to Tara. "Come on, Tara, you can agree with me. We're friends, right?" (Angel and Tara are great friends in this AU).

Tara sighed, rolling her eyes, and decided to humor Angel. "Sure, I'm on your side."

She got up and walked off to Angel's side so that they didn't bother her anymore, and Angel turned to Xander. "You can join me too."

"I don't like you, buddy, you forgot?" Xander asked.

"You like Spike then?" Angel asked and Xander sighed.

"Right", Xander said as he got up and walked past the glaring Spike to Angel's side as well.

"Faith?" Angel asked with puppy eyes.

Faith shared an annoyed look with Buffy before saying. "See you in battle."

And then she walked off to Angel's side as well.

Willow and Anya shared a look and got up to join Angel's side, mainly for Tara and Xander respectively, but Spike stood in their way. "Those two are dead to us now! Only the enemies remain!"

Willow and Anya shared a look as Anya said. "My man is my enemy now! Can you believe it? No more orgasms!"

Everyone shared horrified and humiliated looks at Anya's behavior as Willow muttered to her. "Let's go sit."

And so the two walked back and sat down on Spike's side.

"Giles! You are staying on my side!" Spike said, pointing at him.

"What side are you on?" Giles asked Buffy in a whisper.

"Well, I don't wanna move, so I'm sitting here", Buffy said with a smirk as Angel shot her a horrified look, but she just smirked and waved, while Cordelia chuckled.

"You still have me, you don't need her", Cordelia popped up.

"Right, she is better than any Slayer", Angel agreed with a smirk as he turned to Cordelia. "I love you."

"Thank you Buffy, I love you", Spike told her with a smile.

"What's gonna happen now?" Dawn asked.

"War", Buffy said to her.

"Oh come on! We just came from fighting one!" Gunn snapped.

"Guess we have terrible luck", Fred said as she and Wesley looked at each other, and then back at Angel and Spike.

Spike then walked to his 'army' and gave a speech. "We may be outnumbered, and possibly outpowered, but we have them outskilled and outsmarted!"

Dawn started. "But they have Angel, and Faith and Wesley-"

"Did I say you could speak, private?!" Spike asked.

"N-N-no."

"Then shut up! We are going to get that old man, and then we're going to dance on his dust pile!"

Angel too gave a speech to his 'army'. "Spike is like a cockroach, he always survives. However, this time, we are going to stomp on him and never raise the boot again."

"Don't you think this is a little over the top?" Faith asked.

"Absolutely not. When the days is ours, we can revel in the fact that I, truly, am right!"

"...this is the worst war that I've ever been apart of", Xander groaned.

"You've only been a part of one war", Tara pointed out.

"...that is true", Xander trailed off.

Angel and Spike then stood face to face, ready to fight each other, their 'armies' now standing behind them, all looking like they would rather be somewhere else.

"I think if they don't stop, we might end up having to fight the others", Dawn whispered to Buffy.

"I can hear you!" Spike said and she shut up.

"Will, get me a megaphone", Buffy said.

"Uh, okay", Willow said, unsure of why Buffy wanted it but managed to conjure one with magic.

"Now I'm gonna show you who's the boss, Spike!" Angel said to him with a smirk.

"Right, we'll bloody see that!" Spike said back to him with a smirk of his own.

"RILEY SUCKS!" Buffy shouted on the megaphone over the egos of the two Vampires.

There was a brief pause as Angel and Spike stared at each other, while Cordelia winked at Buffy and gave her a thumbs-up.

* * *

Few minutes later

Angel and Spike shook hands, laughing hysterically. "And he was like- "I saved you Buffy, why are you so annoyed?""

"Buffy wanted to talk to me alone, he didn't go out of the room, so I and Buffy went out of the room!" Angel said as he and Spike laughed harder, banging the table in-between their laughter, and the rest joined them in laughter too, including Buffy, who remembered Riley's expression when that had happened.

Willow then picked up the megaphone and shouted over it. "KENNEDY SUCKS!"

"Couldn't agree more", Xander said as he walked over to her and the two shared a funny hug and then he walked to Anya.

"We're on the same side! I can orgasm again!" Anya said as all shared horrified looks once more, but then Xander shut her up with a kiss.

Willow and Tara shared a kiss too as Faith picked up the megaphone and now shouted. "ROBIN SUCKS!"

"Oh tell me about it, bloody 5 year old!" Spike agreed as Buffy nodded.

"No kidding, he was a good Principal, but otherwise pathetic", Buffy said.

Dawn then picked up the megaphone and shouted. "ANDREW SUCKS!"

"Oh the little weasel!" Angel said, imagining twisting his neck.

"If I meet him again, he's gonna be bled dry", Spike agreed.

"Oh he better be worried about what I'll do to him", Cordelia sneered.

"I think I will give him the same treatment I gave to Justine", Wesley said with a sadistic smirk.

"Count me in", Fred said with an equally sadistic smirk, which she never gave, as she and Wesley shared a kiss.

"If I had my boys still, I'll put out the hit on him", Gunn nodded.

"Angel, you should sing to him", Lorne said as all shared hysterical laughter.

"The guy ruined my reputation. I mean, the Immortal, seriously?" Buffy said angrily.

"Maybe you should set those Hellhounds on him", Faith suggested and Buffy had a glint in her eye, and the rest too.

"I heard there are even more dangerous ones than the ones who came to our prom", Willow remembered.

"Well then, I'll bring them", Tara said with a smirk.

"And I'll help you set 'em", Xander agreed.

"I will make sure he has nowhere to go", Giles said too with a sadistic gleam in his eye.

"Oh yeah, the Magic Box is closed to him", Anya nodded.

With that, everyone started plotting ways to kill Andrew as Buffy and Dawn shared a high-five, and then Buffy and Spike started talking to Angel and Cordelia about what to do with Andrew when they met him again.

And thus, the 'Civil War' was averted.

**Author's Note:**

> And done, thanks to Brainstorm Sorcerer again for the help.
> 
> Hope all enjoyed and see you all next time with some other update. Stay safe from the coronavirus ya all!


End file.
